Lemonade stands in memory of Caitlyn

First Annuel Lemonade stand "6/08"

It has been awhile since I have posted. I do this with encouragement from dear friends. We are approaching the one year mark since Caitlyn's death of June 27, 2008. This months has been a time of reflection over the past year. Seeing where we were a year ago and seeing how fare we have come, is some what overwhelming. It is a daily challenge to over come every odd that is handed you when you lose a child. This year has been a struggle for us I will not lie, we have had low times and then even lower times. But somehow I feel like we have won some unbeatable challenge. The challenge being cancer; it challenges you to see how far it can pull a family apart and then see if they can stay together. We are still here and at some level it feels victorious because we most certainly could be in a very different place.

The following is a passage I read and could not believe how it completely mirrored how we are feeling right now in this point in our journey. When you come across something that describes your feelings so clearly, it's comforting to know someone else gets it. It reassures you that your not crazy.

In the Bible the apostle Paul says that you should rejoice in your suffering.This advice sounds incredible, especially when you are in the midst of pain. "Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us" (Romans 5:3-5).

After looking closer at Paul's words, you will realize that he is not saying to be glad about what happened, not at all! He tells you that you are to use your suffering as a time of personal growth in which you ultimately experience an outpouring of God's love into your heart.

Dr. Ray Pritchard says, "Christians who most deeply experience the love of God are those who have not fought against God at the point of their suffering, but they've said, 'Lord, I don't understand. God, this doesn't make any sense. I wish this would go away, but, Lord, I'm going to cooperate with You. I'm going to walk with You through this.' "Through that, God gives them perseverance; He develops character; character becomes hope, and in the end, their hearts are soft, and then they experience the love of God.

"Lord, I'm not happy with this, but I will make the best of it. Pour out Your Spirit on me, and give me perseverance, character, and hope. Lord, I sure need hope.

So with this said we are PERSEVERING on with the 2nd annual Caitlyn Churak foundation lemonade stand this Saturday June 27th in memory of Caitlyn.

Last year just a few weeks before she passed we did our first annual lemonade sale (see pictures above). The proceeds from that went to one of Caitlyn's friends Rosie Colucci who is also battling a brain tumor.

Our goal This year is to use the proceeds to grant a wish trip for another friend of Caitlyn's whom we have met while on this journey. He is battling leukemia that has come back for the second time. Our goal is to give this family HOPE with a small act of kindness from friends and strangers.

We would like to make this a HUGE event with the help of all of you. We want to see how many people we can get to have a lemonade sale on June 27th. If you would like to participate please email me with your location. I will post it on our web site where all the stands will be. So if you can't have one yourself you can stop by one, or tell a friend where to go. As of now we have 2 in Palatine, 1 in Barrington, 1 in Schaumburg. Once you email me I will send you information that you can post at your stand about Caitlyn's foundation and where the proceeds will be going. Please spread the word and try and get as many people to have a lemonade stand as you can.

Know matter how great our own pain is cancer can not take away our CHARACTER. Character is what we have that allows us to care about others in the shadows of our own pain.

There is nothing more Caitlyn loved in the summertime then ice cream trucks and lemonade stands. So I know she will be smiling on us all while we help grant a wish for someone else.

HAPPY 7th BIRTHDAY CAITLYN, WE LOVE YOU!!

Caitlyn at her tea party bithday party -March 2008

2009 Children Memorial/Northwestern Memorial

ToyDrive

Special Thanks to:
Mrs.Held 1st grade class
Ms.Duncan's 1st grade class

Special Thanks to:

Ms. Wosniak's 3rd grade class
Mrs. Burns 3rd grade class

Patrick and Jackson delivering gifts



Patrick and Jackson were very excited to see the children on the oncology floor receive the gifts that their classmates donated. We had fun as a family picking out baby dolls that we know Caitlyn would love. We bought several different types of babies. Caitlyn loved the dolls with bottles, so we got a doll that came with "the works" bottle, diapers for potty, food. One little girl saw it right away and took it. She continued to browse to make sure she made just the right selection. Jason showed her another doll thinking she was uncertain but she stuck with the doll with the works and took off. I just laughed and thought she was a girl after Caitlyn's own heart.


After the children from the floor came, the nurses came and got toys for the patients that could not come out of their room. There were still enough toys left to fill the toy closet for another day. We were also able to take toys over to the radiation department at Northwestern Memorial Hospital. They also have a toy chest for children to visit after radiation treatment. Caitlyn visited that toy chest often. It felt good to give back to the places that were so kind to us and Caitlyn during her treatments.

THANK YOU TO ST.THERESA SCHOOL. THANK FOR HONORING CAITLYN'S BIRTHDAY BY RECOGNIZING THE CHILDREN STILL BATTLING CANCER. THANK YOU TO THE FIRST GRADERS WHO WERE SO GENEROUS WITH THEIR GIFTS. THEY ALWAYS REMEMBER CAITLYN EVERY TIME I SEE THEM AT SCHOOL. THEIR LOVE FOR HER IS VERY TOUCHING. ALSO THANK YOU TO THE THIRD GRADERS FOR SHOWING SUPPORT FOR PATRICK AND JACKSON WITH THEIR GENEROUS GIFTS. IT MEANS SO MUCH TO US WHEN PEOPLE REMEMBER OUR PRECIOUS CAITLYN.

I think this "first" is harder than all the other holidays we have gone through since she passed. This one is different because we should be celebrating another year. Birthdays are a celebration of life, however this life was cut way too short and left our family forever missing everything about her.

CAITLYN WE LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU. YOU ARE ALWAYS ON OUR MINDS AND IN OUR HEARTS. XOXO LOVE MOM & DAD PATRICK AND JACKSON.

Thanks to everyone who decorated Caityn's tree

Her light will always shine

The annual Candle Lighting Program for all children who have died at any age and from any cause… "That their light may always shine". In conjunction with the 12th Annual Worldwide Candle Lighting on Sunday, December 14 at 7 p.m. in each time zone.

We invite you and your family and friends to light a candle at 7 p.m. Sunday December 14th, 2008 wherever you are in memory of Caitlyn and all the other children we have lost in this world.
Visit the Worldwide Candle Lighting website for further details and watch the light travel around the world.

I would love to see any pictures you have of your candle lighting. If you email them to me I will post them all on our website. Send them to the churak family email address.( churakfamily@caitlynchurak.com )

The Churak Family

Remembering a princess

Thank you to our secret friends who are showing us that they are thinking of Caitlyn. Saturday when we returned home from dinner at a friends house we were greeted by a very touching sight. The tree that was planted in the fall in memory of Caitlyn was decorated with Disney Princess Christmas decorations. We all got out of the car in the middle of the driveway to look at the tree. The base of the tree was also wrapped with a Tinkerbell blanket. It felt like Christmas morning it was such an unexpected surprise.

Not only did the person/persons decorate the tree but they left a large plastic storage container in the driveway to store the ornaments in after the season. Oh and We did find the gifts for the boy's in the container as well.

Thank you to all that remind us daily that Caitlyn is in their hearts and minds. It truly means the world to us to know that Caitlyn touched so many and remains in your thoughts. I cannot explain how it feels to have others remember Caitlyn. We know we think of her daily and miss her. But to see and hear about others that we know and some that we don't know missing her brings tears to my eyes. I'm getting emotional just writing this. So thank you to everyone that is praying for us and keeping us in their thoughts. We need it now more than ever. The holidays are really shaking our foundation with mounting sadness in our hearts as the holidays draw closer.

We just have to beleive there is purpose to all of this pain, and hope we have the strength to travel the path before us.

We wish all of you a Merry Christmas,

The Churak Family

Caitlyn can never NOT be!

It has been awhile since I posted. There really is not much to say that wouldn't sound to negative or of despair from the pain that we feel every day of every minute. I could post daily on that stuff. Hell I could post by the minute of every thought or memories of Caitlyn. They all come with such joy but always end with a pain in my throat and tears clouding my vision.

So instead I have found this passage from the book "the secret". I have been really trying to believe that she is all around me. But I don't want to just try and believe it I try to truly feel it. So I found this passage to be enlightening. It is not easy to always believe our loved ones are still here with us even though we can't see, touch and feel them. It's hard to except the energy being over the physical being. But I try.


"Most people define themselves by this finite body, but you're not a finite body. Even under a microscope you're an energy field. If you ask a quantum physicist and say what creats the world? He or she will say. It can never be created or destroyed, it always was, always has been, everything that ever existed always exists, it's moving into form, through form and out of form. You go to a theologian and ask the question, what created the Universe? and he or she will say. God. Ok, describe God. "Always was and always has been, never can be created or destroyed, all that ever was, always will be. always moving into form, through form and out of form.
So if you think you're this "meat suit" running around, think again. You're a spiritual being! Your an energy field, operating in a larger energy field.
Energy just changes form. And that means you! (Caitlyn) The true essence of Caitlyn, the pure energy of Caitlyn, has always been and always will be. Caitlyn can never not be.
James Ray from the book the secret.

We have had a few sweet gifts left under Caitlyn's tree. Thank you to our friends that think of us. A hand made necklace, Disney princess globe, and a teddy bear. Thank you to girl scout troop 6145 for your donation to the National Childhood Cancer Foundation.

We made a very personal decision to donate her tumor to research in hopes that some day there will be a cure.

The Churak Family

A Special Tree

Our dear friend Vicki along with her family made arrangements for a tree to be planted in our front yard. It is very special tree planted in memory of Caitlyn. So when you drive by our house please check out our Caitlyn tree.

Thank you Vicki and Ken - you are a good neighbors, and great friends.

-The Churak Family

Think Like a Tree

Soak up the sun

Affirm life's magic

Be graceful in the wind

Stand tall after a storm

Feel refreshed after it rains

Grow strong

Be prepared for each season

Provide shelter to strangers

Hang tough through a cold spell

Emerge renewed at the first signs of spring

Stay deeply rooted while reaching for the sky

Be still long enough to hear your own leaves rustling.

He who plants a tree, plants a hope

Remembering Caitlyn in our thoughts

It has been awhile since I have posted. I guess there is not much to post but the obvious.It's about how we are doing as a family during this time that we are trying to find a new way to live. It is not easy.We are stumbling a lot or should I say I am. I know this is hard for the boy's even though they are not as forth coming with their feelings as I am. We talk of Caitlyn daily about different things she once did or how she might react to something that has happened with us. We find our self laughing and it feels good to remember the fun times with her.

We have suffered another loss just a few weeks ago. Jason's Uncle Mike passed away from a brain tumor. He was diagnosed about 3 months before Caitlyn was diagnosed. They both had different tumors but were both given the same prognosis about a year to live. Caitlyn and Mike went through radiation at the same time. It helped her feel more comfortable knowing he was going through it as well. We saw him quite a lot this summer and Caitlyn was drawn to him. She said he was Santa. He really did look like santa with his white beard. The two of them had a special connection. I know they are together now looking down on us and watching over us.

It hits me everyday I wake up how life goes on and nothing stops. Even with us Caitlyn passed on a Friday, we buried her on Saturday, the boys celebrated their 8Th birthday on Sunday, then had a party on Monday with friends. There are times that I look in the mirror and I don't recognize myself as a mother who has lost her only daughter. This is not my life, this couldn't of happened to me. I still think I must be dreaming and some how I will wake up from this long painful sleep. I laugh and smile on the outside these days because the inside is to painful to show the rest of the world.

Life does go on and we are left here without our sweet Caitlyn. We are left to feel the pain of her absence while we try to live and not just exist. I know when people see us they want to ask how are you? Well I know you already know the answer to that question, so don't ask it. Instead tell us something you remember about Caitlyn. If you want to say something but don't know what to say recall a memory about her or just say her name. To hear her name may bring tears to my eyes but they are tears of joy that she is on others minds.

She is now full of the knowledge that we are all searching for but will never know the answers to until we are in heaven.

There have been some children that I have followed and kept in touch with that have passed.It breaks my heart just like they were my own Caitlyn. I guess because I know to well what they are going through and it is devastating. If you could please keep their family's in your prayers. Mara Adams, Mariah Klein, and just today Caitlyn Cotton passed away. If you could visit Caitlyn's site and let their family know you are thinking of them. Caitlyn Cotton was only diagnosed 1 month ago. So this has been very sudden for this family.

www.caringbridge.org/visit/caitlyncotton

Thank you for following our story and remembering Caitlyn. Thank you to everyone who has sent us cards in the past few weeks remembering her. We received a packet of cards today from the 6Th grade girl scouts troop at St.Theresa's school. Patrick read them all to me and asked why I was crying? I told him because people are thinking of Caitlyn and that makes me happy. Thank you to our family, friends and school St. Theresa's for showing us so much love and support.

The Churak Family