Hi Everyone
Thank you for your thoughts and support. I have had several wow moments since people have been sharing Caitlyns story with friends and family. It is like that saying "6 degrees of separation or Kevin Bacon" (or something like that). Some how we really are all connected to each other.
People keep telling me that they think I'm strong; but when I hear that all I can think of is "that is the furthest thing that I feel". If it wasn't for Caitlyn and the boys I would be feeling a lot more sorry for myself. As you know with kids it doesn't matter how you feel you MUST go on, you MUST get out of bed, you MUST put a smile on you face. You must walk in the memorial day parade with the boy scouts pulling your daughter in a wagon -- Just 5 days after finding out your only daughter has anywhere from 6 months to 5 years to live. Make the most of everyday isn't that the expression? As parents we don't get a sick day; nor do they allow us to have a pity party for ourself.
Only children truly know how to make the best of everyday because they don't have to worry about tomorrow. I am following in their footsteps everyday. So when I get emails that say I seem so strong I have to give my three beautiful children a high five in my mind; for making me make the most of everyday we have together.
With that said let me tell you about our past week. Caitlyn is almost symptom free for now. Dr. Goldman told us "this is a good day" with a big smile on his face. There have been a few days that she was tired; but for the most part treatment has not slowed her down. Her face is puffy because of the effects of the steroids; and she has lost some hair.
Today Caitlyn was photographed with her radiologists Dr.Marymont at Northwestern Memorial Hospital. This was for NWMH medical journal that will feature an article about pediatrics and radiology at the hospital. She did a great job and only had to be bribed slightly to ham it up for the cameras with the doctor. For this she was allowed to wear a little mascara for her pictures. That was like winning the lottery for her. She loves makeup.
Our days are mostly filled with traveling down town and back. We are really looking forward to the end of our six week treatment plan of radiation; so we can start our summer fun. We have fit in a few play-dates, swimming at a friends pool, lunches downtown, and water gun fights with neighborhood kids. We are looking forward to Palatines 4th of July festival coming up this weekend. The boys will enjoy their 7th birthday at the CUBS game this Friday with their dad and uncle. For now I will follow the lead of my children's innocence to live each day to the fullest. I have been searching through books and and the internet trying to find out how to walk through this and realized it was sitting in front of me the whole time, and not very quietly I might add. I tell ya we can be so blind and deaf sometimes when looking for answers.
I hope everyone enjoys the 4th of July festivities in your home towns. This is one of our favorite times of the year. We will be enjoying the parades ( the kids love it for the candy), the carnival (cotton candy is the first stop), fireworks ( which we have to have oodles of glow sticks that make us just as dazzling as the firework show), and BBQ's with our family.
We truly appreciate everything you are all doing for us. All the cards, gifts and food are keeping our spirits high and making us feel loved and most importantly not alone.
Kara & family
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
06/19/2007
This last week has been the best week that we have all shared together in such a long time. There were changes in Caitlyn long before she was diagnosed with her brain tumor. The doctors have told me that Caitlyn's tumor has not been there very long; but I think what ever chemical imbalance that lead to the growth of cancer started with in the past year.
It was never anything medical; but something just seemed off with her. Nothing I could put my finger more of a gut feeling.I remember just before her symptoms started to show, thinking the tone of her voice didn't sound familiar and it hadn't for some time. Something about her spirit did not seem happy or at peace.I'm not one who goes around getting in tune with people's spirit and soul. I don't even go to church as much as I should. ( I do now ). I believe, however, a mother has a special gift to see inside their child. That doesn't mean we recognize it every time we see something wrong; and it may take us time to react on it; but we feel things.
I have felt so much in these past four weeks that I can only believe that this is all part of Gods plan. On May 23 my life changed forever, I changed forever. I will never look at the world again the same way. When Caitlyn was diagnosed with an inoperable cancer that gave her very little chance for survival I immediately mourned for my losses. All of the things that should have been for her. I mourned for all of the things I wanted to do with her. I cried for losses of my hopes and dreams for her. I couldn't close my eyes at night. because images of her would rush in of all the things that we had done, and all things that were still to come. The first week I cried and begged God to save Caitlyn. I asked over and over and over again to make her his miracle.
I still ask God to make her his miracle but I also know how many children are out there with cancer and other terminal diseases that need a miracle also. I see these children at the hospital and I see the looks on the parents faces and realized they are all asking for the same thing. I now pray less selfishly, just as hard for those children as I do my own. I wonder if Gods plan was to open my eyes to other people's pains. Sure I know terrible things happen and you feel sympathy for people but unless you walk through the pain you can't truly sympathize with them. You can only feel sympathy.
That's why we are adding other links to our site. Of other children who are suffering as well. I know we are not the only parents that are suffering and Caitlyn is not the only child with a terminal disease. I think in sharing information will help us realize there are so many others are in need.
Caitlyn's symptoms have cleared up dramatically; and the best gift is that her soul and spirit has returned. I truly feel like she has returned from a long vacation and we are getting to know each other again. This past week has been like getting reacquainted with an old friend. I know no matter how all this ends just having her spirit back is gift from God. I would have not said that four weeks ago. I would have wanted the whole package along with a promise of forever. I'm not saying I'm not asking for that; but I do recognize what God has given me this week, and for that I am truly grateful. Caitln is a gift and we are blessed to have her back.
Thank you to everyone for all the positive thoughts and prayers you have been sending.. I know you all have prayers of your own that need answering, and I want you to know that you are all in my prayers as well.
Kara Churak & family
It was never anything medical; but something just seemed off with her. Nothing I could put my finger more of a gut feeling.I remember just before her symptoms started to show, thinking the tone of her voice didn't sound familiar and it hadn't for some time. Something about her spirit did not seem happy or at peace.I'm not one who goes around getting in tune with people's spirit and soul. I don't even go to church as much as I should. ( I do now ). I believe, however, a mother has a special gift to see inside their child. That doesn't mean we recognize it every time we see something wrong; and it may take us time to react on it; but we feel things.
I have felt so much in these past four weeks that I can only believe that this is all part of Gods plan. On May 23 my life changed forever, I changed forever. I will never look at the world again the same way. When Caitlyn was diagnosed with an inoperable cancer that gave her very little chance for survival I immediately mourned for my losses. All of the things that should have been for her. I mourned for all of the things I wanted to do with her. I cried for losses of my hopes and dreams for her. I couldn't close my eyes at night. because images of her would rush in of all the things that we had done, and all things that were still to come. The first week I cried and begged God to save Caitlyn. I asked over and over and over again to make her his miracle.
I still ask God to make her his miracle but I also know how many children are out there with cancer and other terminal diseases that need a miracle also. I see these children at the hospital and I see the looks on the parents faces and realized they are all asking for the same thing. I now pray less selfishly, just as hard for those children as I do my own. I wonder if Gods plan was to open my eyes to other people's pains. Sure I know terrible things happen and you feel sympathy for people but unless you walk through the pain you can't truly sympathize with them. You can only feel sympathy.
That's why we are adding other links to our site. Of other children who are suffering as well. I know we are not the only parents that are suffering and Caitlyn is not the only child with a terminal disease. I think in sharing information will help us realize there are so many others are in need.
Caitlyn's symptoms have cleared up dramatically; and the best gift is that her soul and spirit has returned. I truly feel like she has returned from a long vacation and we are getting to know each other again. This past week has been like getting reacquainted with an old friend. I know no matter how all this ends just having her spirit back is gift from God. I would have not said that four weeks ago. I would have wanted the whole package along with a promise of forever. I'm not saying I'm not asking for that; but I do recognize what God has given me this week, and for that I am truly grateful. Caitln is a gift and we are blessed to have her back.
Thank you to everyone for all the positive thoughts and prayers you have been sending.. I know you all have prayers of your own that need answering, and I want you to know that you are all in my prayers as well.
Kara Churak & family
06/11/2007
This past week was starting out slow there was not a whole lot of change in Caitlyns symptoms. Despite this we tried to make the best of the last days of school for the year at St.Theresa. After treatment on Thursday we caught up with her brothers Patrick and Jackson at Field days. Caitlyn had a great time participating in Tug of War and relay races with the first grade classes.
Caitlyn has also been enjoying our rides downtown. While I drive, Caitlyn and Grandma Sharon sit in the back and color pictures for the art book they are making. We enjoyed the weekend with Grandpa Greg and Grandma Kathy who visited from Idaho .
We have received so many cards, letters, gifts, and visits from family, friends, and neighbors. We appreciate the prayers and positive thoughts. Our hearts are overwhelmed with gratitude to everyone who is helping us make this miracle happen.
I do believe it is working because today, just 13 days into her treatment she is running again, and can walk with out my help. When I look into her eyes I feel like I can see her returning to me. I know this is just the beginning and we still have a long way to go.
The one thing that concerns me is that she is having a reaction to the drug which is causing her to break out in a rash. We are hoping the cream the doctor prescribed will help cure that; but in addition we are asking for prayers. Please pray that Caitlyn’s body adjusts to the medicine.
Both doctors at Northwestern Memorial (Maryanne H. Marymont Radiation Oncology) and Children’s Memorial (Stewart Goldman) have been pleased with her progress. I truly believe it's a combination of the treatment and the constant reminder that she has been receiving everyday from all of you. It is wonderful to know how much she is loved and prayed for. Please continue to keep Caitlyn in your thoughts because this will keep her strong in the days ahead.
We also want to thank St.Theresa's first grade classes for the wonderful basket of build-a-bear stuff for Caitlyn and for being so thoughtful and including Patrick and Jackson. This has been a hard time for them as well.
Thank you,
Kara Churak & Family
Caitlyn has also been enjoying our rides downtown. While I drive, Caitlyn and Grandma Sharon sit in the back and color pictures for the art book they are making. We enjoyed the weekend with Grandpa Greg and Grandma Kathy who visited from Idaho .
We have received so many cards, letters, gifts, and visits from family, friends, and neighbors. We appreciate the prayers and positive thoughts. Our hearts are overwhelmed with gratitude to everyone who is helping us make this miracle happen.
I do believe it is working because today, just 13 days into her treatment she is running again, and can walk with out my help. When I look into her eyes I feel like I can see her returning to me. I know this is just the beginning and we still have a long way to go.
The one thing that concerns me is that she is having a reaction to the drug which is causing her to break out in a rash. We are hoping the cream the doctor prescribed will help cure that; but in addition we are asking for prayers. Please pray that Caitlyn’s body adjusts to the medicine.
Both doctors at Northwestern Memorial (Maryanne H. Marymont Radiation Oncology) and Children’s Memorial (Stewart Goldman) have been pleased with her progress. I truly believe it's a combination of the treatment and the constant reminder that she has been receiving everyday from all of you. It is wonderful to know how much she is loved and prayed for. Please continue to keep Caitlyn in your thoughts because this will keep her strong in the days ahead.
We also want to thank St.Theresa's first grade classes for the wonderful basket of build-a-bear stuff for Caitlyn and for being so thoughtful and including Patrick and Jackson. This has been a hard time for them as well.
Thank you,
Kara Churak & Family
06/01/2007
These past 2 weeks have been life changing and have us moving in a hundred different directions at a fast pace to try and preserve the moment.We have thrown a birthday party for Caitlyn with all her classmates, family, dear friends, and neighbors. We also had family portraits taken. We went with extended family to the botanical gardens to take some memorable pictures together.
Our family is overcome by the love and support that our family, friends, church and school St. Theresa has shown our family in our time of need for love, support and trusting in the faith of God. I can not thank everyone enough and tell you how much it means. It is truly helping us keep our faith strong and hope for a miracle high.
When we received the news of Caitlyn's cancer on May 23 we were given a 2% chance to make it through the next year. We went straight to God and asked for better chances and two days later were told of a clinical trial that could give her a 25%. Again I went to God and said this is better but I need better than that. That night I found a boy in Seattle who has the same cancer and is in the same clinical trial and his tumor has shrunk 80%. I then thanked God and said I can pray on that. Caitlyn started her treatment May 30th.
She is 5 treatments into her 6 week treatment plan and in 8 weeks she will have another MRI that will tell us if she is responding to the treatment. We ask that you pray for us at this critical time of her treatment.
The Churak Family
Our family is overcome by the love and support that our family, friends, church and school St. Theresa has shown our family in our time of need for love, support and trusting in the faith of God. I can not thank everyone enough and tell you how much it means. It is truly helping us keep our faith strong and hope for a miracle high.
When we received the news of Caitlyn's cancer on May 23 we were given a 2% chance to make it through the next year. We went straight to God and asked for better chances and two days later were told of a clinical trial that could give her a 25%. Again I went to God and said this is better but I need better than that. That night I found a boy in Seattle who has the same cancer and is in the same clinical trial and his tumor has shrunk 80%. I then thanked God and said I can pray on that. Caitlyn started her treatment May 30th.
She is 5 treatments into her 6 week treatment plan and in 8 weeks she will have another MRI that will tell us if she is responding to the treatment. We ask that you pray for us at this critical time of her treatment.
The Churak Family
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