Well this is lesson 529, that Caitlyn has taught me in the last 9 months. I have been dreading every birthday that I have had since I turned 30. I look in the mirror and concentrate on the lines in my face or the toll that life has put on me in my appearance and think Oh I can't believe I'm another year older with great dread and remorse. I think of treaments I could have to remove some of those birthdays, but only contemplate them because it may seem too vain. But I just want to erase those years that have been given to me.
Well after celebrating Caitlyn's 6th birthday with her in good health it hit me like a ton of bricks. I have been taking the years on my face for granted. Thinking about how I can erase them. How I can take back time. Realizing I have been taking all my birthdays for granted. Approaching each one after a certain age with fear and regret. All Caitlyn can talk about is her next birthday. She asks how long till she turns 7? She is already planning her next party and what she wants.
OK GOD I'm tired of learning lessons. This one is a Doozy. Yes, I see the joy of each year. I will no longer dread another birthday. I will thank you for each day that I have here with the ones I love. I will no longer look in the mirror and concentrate on how time is showing in my face. Instead I will be thankful that you have given me this time and these lines. How can we dread getting older when there are so many children who's only thought is how long till my next birthday. And their chances of having another birthday are very slim. Birthdays are a gift and I never realized that before now.
So happy birthday to Caitlyn for reaching 6 and may we enjoy many more years with you.
Love,
MOM and DAD
To see some pix:
www.caitlynchurak.com/indexfiles/photo6.htm
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